50 ways to annoy Gaara
by NereicHakoto
Summary: There's 50 because I'm smart like that. Now with Sasuke annoyances! joke about hilary clinton inside. i didn't make it though. its hilarious! Now with 50 Orochimaru annoyances! 15 ways for Hidan! Check it out!
1. 50 ways to annoy Gaara

**50 ways in which to annoy Gaara**

**Muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!**

1: Tell Gaara you are really Rock Lee in disguise.

2: Walk up to Temari and tell her that Gaara loves her cooking.

3: Ask Gaara why he stole Sasuke's eyeliner.

4: Get Gaara to wear a panda/raccoon costume.

5: Wait for a reaction when you take him outside and everyone stares at him.

6: When Gaara is near, start humming Happy birthday, over and over again.

7: Stare at him for a very long period of time, unblinkingly.

8: When he's working, hover over his shoulder. Breathe on his neck.

9: If he leaves his office, steal all his pens and throw them out the window.

10: If you get a milkshake, walk behind him. 'Accidentally' bump into him hard enough to spill your milkshake all over him.

11: Next time you see Rock Lee, tell him Gaara wants to be his best friend.

12: Tell Gaara he has a fan girl waiting outside his office.

13: (If you're a girl) Tell him you are the fan girl.

14: Tell Gaara that Sasuke stole his gourd and dropped it in a lake.

15: Tell Gaara that Rock Lee finds him to be very youthful.

16: Ask Kankuro for one of his puppets. Give it to Gaara and tell him that it's his new best friend.

17: When Orochimaru invades Suna, tell Gaara he is really Sasuke.

18: Tell Gaara that Michal Jackson wants to meet him.

19: Get all Gaara's fan girls to gather outside his office. Tell Gaara that the apocalypse has come so he will run outside.

20: Tell Gaara that the Akutski has come for Shukaku when it's only fan girls outside his office.

21: Get Rock Lee and Gai-sensei to do their 'thing' in Gaara's office with Gaara in it. Make sure he doesn't have his sand and is tied to the chair.

22: Give Gaara a tootsie roll. When he asks why you gave it to him, tell him it's from a fan girl.

23: Stare at him like he's insane. When he asks you to stop, stick out your tongue at him.

24: Tape a teddy bear to Gaara's back. Find Temari. Tell her that Gaara has a new best friend.

25: Tape a sign on Gaara's back that says 'Kick me'.

26: Tell Gaara that Rock Lee loves him like a brother.

27: Ask Gaara to talk to Rock Lee. When he asks why, tell him Lee needs a youthful partner.

28: Tape another sign to Gaara's back that says 'I'm gay'.

29: Tell Gaara that the elders had removed his position as Kazekage. When he asks why, tell him that they hate his guts.

30: Get Ino to glomp Gaara.

31: Get Sasuke to sleep on Gaara's desk.

32: Tell Gaara that Sasuke is gay.

33: Poke Gaara in one spot over and over again. When he asks you to stop, poke another part of his body.

34: Tell Gaara that Kankuro wants a playboy magazine.

35: Get Kankuro to give Gaara a playboy magazine, make sure Temari sees it.

36: Tell Gaara that while Temari was cooking, she burned down the house.

37: Gaara walks out of his office, hide beside the door, make sure he doesn't have his gourd. When he comes back in pelt him with pens and paper balls.

38: Tackle Gaara. When he asks why you did it, say, 'because I felt like it'.

39: (After the Akutski attack, where Gaara is able to sleep.) Grab a magic marker, when Gaara goes to sleep write faggot on his forehead.

40: After 39, wake Gaara up with a pot and a spoon by banging them together over Gaara's head. Tell him to look in a mirror.

41: Tell Gaara that the writing is permanent.

42: Tell Gaara to go to Konoha. When he asks why, tell him Tsunade died of alcohol poisoning.

43: Ask Gaara why he doesn't have any eyebrows.

44: When he answers, ask why.

45: He answers again. Continually ask why. Like a Five year old would.

46: Tell Gaara that there is a injured girl in the hospital when it's really a fat old lady wanting to someone to hug.

47: Get someone to take a picture when the fat old lady hugs him.

48: When Gaara goes to sleep. Take magic marker and give Gaara a french mustache, eyebrows, and whiskers.

49: Get all of Gaara's fan girls to glomp him all at once.

50: Nail pictures of Sasuke and Lee in a place where both Temari and Kankuro will see it. On Gaara's door.


	2. 50 ways to annoy sasuke

**Chapter Two: 50 Ways to Annoy Sasuke.**

1: Call him fat.

2: Call him chicken head.

3: Is this simple to figure out? If so, ask Sasuke, he'll probably say no. XD

4: Call him a hypocrite.

5: HA HA HA! HE'S GAY!

6: Is that a chicken on your head? or is it your hair?

7: That's one strange hairdoo, looks like a chicken

8: ...Orochimaru.

9: Orochimaru in a chicken suit.

10: Orochimaru in a chicken suit making chicken noises.

11: Orochimaru singing.

12: Orochimaru...lap dancing.

13: I really am evil aren't I?

14: Guess who chicken head?

15: Oh, I'm sorry, I mistook you for a chicken.

16: Stare at his hair, then point out it looks like a chicken.

17: Kabuto and Orochimaru in the same room as Sasuke.

18: Keep pestering him, asking why Kabuto is named after a pokemon. (seriously though, why IS kabuto named after a pokemon?)

19: Laugh at him.

20: Laugh at his hair.

21: Tell him he has no reason for living except...being Orochimaru's man slave.

22: ...

23: Poke him.

24: Light his hair on fire and watch it burn and him run around screaming.

25: Laugh. For no reason at all.

26: Laugh whenever he's in the middle of a sentence.

27: Tell him Gaara is a lot awesomer than he is. (with the grammatical error. [seriously, Gaara is a lot better)

28: Laugh evilly worthy of Orochimaru.

29: Scream. Loudly. In his ear.

30: Is this really number 30? Damn. Heh heh, Sasuke has chicken feet.

31: Ask him who he loves the most. Sakura? or Lee?

32: Suggest that he likes Lee better without waiting for an answer to number 31.

33: Completely Ignore Him.

34: Tell him that you know someone a lot gayer than him.

35: Introduce that person to him.

36: Tie Sasuke up and lock him in a closet with that person. Tell your friend he can do whatever he wants.

37: Video tape it and put it on Youtube, it will soon be in the top ten favorite videos.

38: Tape "I am a Chicken Head" with duct tape on his bare (ew) back.

39: Laugh at the sign.

40: Sing at the top of your lungs, the "IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" song. In full detail.

41: Make sure you're singing in his ear.

42: If he runs, super glue him to a chair.

43: While you're at it, super glue his hands to his butt.

44: Make him watch kid shows. With Orochimaru in the room.

45: Shave him bald.

46: From then on, call him Chicken Baldy.

47: Make sure you tell Sakura that Sasuke is in love with Orochimaru and wouldn't have anyone else in the world.

48: Watch the results. Sakura's one crasy bitch.

49: Laugh at his misery.

50: Get Michal Jackson and Orochimaru locked up in the same closet with him in it, staple his eyes open to make sure he's watching.

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What'd you think? Am I a genius or what? I love reviews.


	3. Hilary Clinton joke

omg, a friend told me this joke, its hilarious. I didn't make it!

**Bob died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. hhe asked, "What are all those clocks?" **

**Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. **

**Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move. **

**"Oh," said Bob, "whose clock is that?" **

**"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie." **

**"Whose clock is that?" **

**"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life." **

**"Where's Hilary Clinton's clock?" Bob asked. **

**"That's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."**

**sorry to you H.C fans out there! reviews are awesome, I'll be sure to tell my friend!  
**


	4. 50 ways to annoy Orochimaru

**50 ways to annoy Orochimaru! Muahahaha!**

**(Disclaimer: annoying orochimaru is _not_ a good idea...)**

--

Kill his favorite snake.

Tell him Kabuto is cheating on him with Sasuke...

Tell him Sasuke is straight. No matter how untrue that is...

Lock him in a room with homosexual girls.

If he's happy about that, blow them up...

Play the reptile version of duck, duck, goose without inviting him.

Make sure you're very loud about it. Snake, snake, lizard!

When he regains use of his arms again...cut them off.

Hit his head with hot coals and watch his hair burn off.

Make sure Kabuto is far away and tied up, Orochimaru will be shouting for his help in no time.

Sing the Barney Song in his ear, loudly.

Afterwards, tell him you hate his guts.

Tell him you're more immortal than he is.

Then tell him you're not immortal. But Hidan is.

Give him some deodorant. Self-explanatory.

Draw on his body while he's asleep.

Tie his snakes into a ball and chuck it at his head.

Make sure one of the snakes is dead.

Break it to him that Kabuto is a necrophiliac.

Call him a pedophile.

Tell him to jump off a cliff.

After saying this, tell him you'll make his snakes catch him. But secretly, throw all his snakes into a vat of boiling acid.

To a chair and shave his head.

Make sure its the head you're shaving off...

Skip down to Kabuto swinging Orochimaru's still living head by your side.

Start hitting Kabuto with the head.

Tell Orochimaru that Sasuke may not be gay for him, but Kabuto isn't.

Call Child Abuse on Orochimaru.

Scream rape while he's dissecting you.

Make sure you're screaming as loud as you can.

Tie him to a chair and start cutting off his head with a leaf from Konoha.

Make sure Orochimaru knows where the leaf came from.

Keep him tied to a chair and start pulling out his teeth.

Pluck an eye out while you're at it.

When all his teeth are out make him eat his eyeball.

When you kick him in the private, wonder out loud why it didn't hurt him.

Then suggest he doesn't have anything down there.

When he tries to prove it to you, via pulling off his pants, scream rape.

Light his pants on fire while you're at it.

Watch as his entire body catches fire.

Start giving him an acupuncture treatment.

Make sure you're shoving the entire needle into his body, that'll make it painful. Acupuncture is virtually painless.

Put him in a full-body cast.

Light the cast on fire.

Listen to his squeals of pain.

When he starts apologizing for his deeds, take out a tape recorder and record everything.

Tell him not to worry, you'll deposit his ashes somewhere safe, like a vat of acid.

On second thought, dip a body part of his into the acid.

Pour gasoline all over his body.

Tell him you though it might put the fire out.


	5. Angry Authors Note

**A/N: Wtf. That's all I can say to the 4 perverted reviews I recieved on June 16, 2008. I didn't even get past the second line of the first paragraph and I stopped reading. Who the hell in this world has the NERVE to put something like THAT up? On this fanfic to top it off. The most _random_ and _idiotic_ comment I have ever recieved. I feel ashamed for that person. That he/she/it was raised in such a way that it would do something like that. In case you people don't know what I'm talking about yet, read the damn review. there's four of them, all the same one. To top off my day, dansguardian blocked the "abuse" button off. When the reviews are deleted then this Authors Note will be removed. Frankly, I won't be on fanfiction for awhile. I need a break from Naruto and other animes. About a week or so, if any of you want to contact me, send a private message. But keep it clean, I don't want another comment like _that_ again. I am very angry right now.**

Thanks for listening.


	6. 15 ways to annoy the shiz out of Hidan

**A/N: Well, here we are again...with 15 ways to annoy Hidan...**

**Alright, the reason there's only 15 is because of two reasons:**

**I was asked to.**

**I'm lazy.**

**Pretty much it. Hope you enjoy.  
**

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**15 ways to annoy the shiz out of Hidan.**

**1.) Give him a medal. The, "I'm a Jashinist" award. He'll think you're trying to piss him off, so he'll get pissed off.**

**2.) Seriously, it's not rocket science. Kick him where it hurts. Multiple times. He'll get pissed off.**

**3.) Staple his back...no...really...take a staple gun and staple his back...**

**4.) Anything he says about the leader, say the exact opposite, or completely say what he just said. Prepare to run at this point...**

**5.) Ask him if he likes Kakuzu, tell him if he does, everyone understands. It's the tentacles right?**

**6.) Steal his scythe, that'll piss him off for sure.**

**7.) If that does work, stab him with it.**

**8.) Yes I did say does in number 7...Anyway, rip off his head again. He'll start complaining about his hair or something.**

**9.) Shave his head...he likes his hair too much...**

**10.) Ask him how old he is. Come on, his hair is turning white.**

**11.) Chew on the cord from his scythe.**

**12.) Carve a heart on his chest, where everyone can see it.**

**13.5) If you're a girl, ask if his sex is male, or is he undecided.**

**13.5) If you're a guy, ask if he's gay, or is he just multisex.**

**14.) Break all the bones in his body, he'll get pissed and try to kill you.**

**15.) Steal Kakuzu's arm and hand it to him. Tell him it's for later, when he needs to get some alone time...if you catch my drift...**

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A/N: Feel free to leave a comment...whatever. I'm just doing this for shits and giggles. Hope you enjoyed it anyway.  
**


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